You Know
by Cats070911
Summary: Newly promoted and separated Tommy and Barbara are reunited when he replaces her boss on a temporary assignment. A little fluffy romance...


**Author's note** : all usual disclaimers apply.

Yes, I know I did say no more but I found this one when I was tidying my files. Originally I had proposed a steamy M ending but never actually wrote it so I gave it a sweeter finish.

* * *

"Well I never thought we'd end up here," the newly promoted Detective Chief Inspector Lynley said to the Inspector sitting beside him in his old car. The windscreen was slightly foggy from the cold outside and he reached forward and rubbed a clear spot with his coat sleeve.

"What in Ely? It's a nice little city Tommy," his Inspector replied.

"No Barbara, I meant a DCI and a DI sitting in a car drinking bad coffee from a thermos flask while we watch a house that no one has been into for weeks."

"Like old times." Barbara was relishing being in his car again. It smelt the same; slightly masculine with a hint of pine forest and an undertone of warm leather. The seat was still soft and welcoming. She was sure it had contoured perfectly to her shape over the years.

"Not really, we rarely did surveillance when we were London. If I recall a certain Sergeant Havers always managed to give that to poor Winston."

"I'm not as green as I'm cabbage looking," she replied with a laugh.

"You don't look a bit like a cabbage. In fact quite the opposite." _Beautiful actually._

"Right, and what exactly would be the opposite of a cabbage? A carrot perhaps? Or an onion?" Her jocular tone reminded Tommy of all the things he had missed when she had taken her promotion and moved away from him. He was relieved that their old easy rapport had been there as soon as he had seen her again.

"Your promotion hasn't changed anything has it?" Lynley said with a wry chuckle.

"Yes; my pay, living in Cambridge instead of Camden, having my own squad to manage and as of yesterday having to break in a new DCI."

"And finally calling him by his correct name!"

"Well I had to when we were equal rank and I sort of got used to it."

"Me too Barbara, me too."

They looked at each other affectionately. They had only been apart two months but Barbara had missed her old boss every minute of every day. He had planned to come up twice to visit but both times an inconsiderate murderer had changed their plans. He had phoned her religiously at seven o'clock each evening and occasionally made additional calls throughout the day. One day she had been in her office thinking about a case when he had rung. Hearing his voice she had unthinkingly called him by name. She could hear his happiness and wished she had done it years ago when he had first asked her. She had not called him 'Sir' since.

"Maybe DCI Kitts won't come back and you'll stay on as DCI here. Then I might have to revert to 'Sir'.

Tommy cocked his head and looked up as if deep in thought. "Hmm, is that a price I'm prepared to pay to keep working with you?" Tommy had never told Barbara that he had virtually been on his knees begging Assistant Commissioner Hillier to relieve Kitts when the man had been kicked by his horse and broken a vertebrae in his back. He had asked as soon as Barbara had told him; well before Cambridge requested someone. In fact he had wondered if Hillier's guilt at insisting they both take promotion and be separated had prompted him to approach Cambridge.

"I like working together again. Sort of feels right. Hillier said I can go back to the Met after a year. I like it up here but there's so much about London I miss," she told him. "Although not so much with you here," she added quietly.

"Only ten months to go Barbara but I like it here too. It's a nice change of pace. I think Kitts will be off for at least another month."

"Good...well not for him I guess."

"No, but excellent for us."

Barbara was amused the way he kept referring to them as a unified entity. She had been told off several times for doing the same up here. She had constantly referred to DS Eddie Finlay as her colleague, never her partner. In her mind Tommy would always be her partner.

As the night wore on they continued to talk - about London, The Met, their new jobs, Tommy's family; in fact about anything and everything. Phones calls were one thing but they had both missed being together, reading each other's thoughts and conversing without words even being spoken. Shortly before six o'clock the sun's early rays created dabbled pools of maroon light on the bonnet of the car. Barbara yawned. "What's the time?"

"Nearly six. Your sergeant should be along any minute and we can leave. I'll drop you at your flat then go back to that fleapit. I might get some sleep but it's horrendously noisy."

Barbara looked at him and saw a deeper tiredness than a night of surveillance would cause. "Why don't you move into my spare room? I was thinking of renting it out to a student anyway but it would make more sense while you're up here for you to stay but I don't cook and I expect you to share the cleaning."

"I'd like that Barbara," he said softly, "I am domesticated, more or less."

"Probably a lot more than me!" she laughed.

After a stop to check Tommy out of his hotel and another to have a light breakfast at an all day pub that Barbara frequented they arrived at her flat in Chesterton a little after seven. The flat was modest but it was modern and functional.

"Come on I had better show you around. This is the lounge and that area over there I call the kitchen but it rarely sees any cooking done."

"Do you still keep your underwear in the cutlery drawers? Perhaps your jeans in the oven?"

Barbara pulled a rude face and they both started to laugh at the memory. "I'll never live that down will I?"

"I'll never forget the horror on your face when I found them. I was trying to be polite and ignore them." Barbara grinned at him. He liked the way her blush crept slowly up her neck, a neck that he very much wanted to kiss. "It's one of my favourite memories," he said sweetly making her blush even more.

"Anyway, this is your room. It's not large but it should be comfortable." Barbara needed a distraction from his gaze. She had missed him so much that it was harder having him here than she had imagined. She wanted to walk over and hug him and never let him go. _What possessed me to ask him to stay?_

He thumped his bag down beside the neatly made bed and could not help but wonder why it was ready for visitors. He wrestled with a surge of jealousy and a consequent guilt. Barbara could have whoever she wanted to stay and it was none of his business.

Barbara saw his face and felt obliged to explain. "I made it up last time when you were coming up. I thought it'd save costs." She could not look at his face so turned and walked down the small hall. "The bathroom is in here and that's the toilet there."

Tommy had seen the embarrassment on her face and wanted to apologise but he was not sure how to without drawing attention to it. "It's well set up," he said ignoring the awkwardness.

He was right behind her now, a little too close for Barbara. She tried to focus only on the moment. "And this is my room," she said quickly as she opened the door. Unusually for her she had made her bed that morning so the room was neat. As he peered in politely she saw him hesitate when he spotted the photograph of them beside her bed. Colour started to creep up her neck. She hurriedly shut the door.

Tommy smiled above her head when he saw the picture that Winston had taken on the night of Barbara's farewell. They had been standing arm in arm posing for photos when he had taken a moment to look down at his sergeant. Barbara looked up at the same time and Winston had quickly snapped their expressions for posterity. The confusing and complex feelings Tommy had for Barbara had been lost behind a look of pure adoration. One could argue it was a look of friendship. Others could equally say it was a look of love. Hers was one of sadness and regret as if she were losing something very precious to her. As soon as Winston had emailed them Tommy had printed it off and framed it. His stood in much the same spot on his bedside table. He put his hand on her shoulder and gave a quick squeeze. "I printed that photo too," he said quietly.

"Yeah, we were together for ten years. It's hard to forget."

"I don't want to forget. They were difficult years in many ways but you were my constant through it all. I've missed you Barbara."

She turned to look at him. She had that same sadness of the photograph. "Well we have the next month at least."

Tommy wanted to kiss her but did not want to risk spoiling another precious moment of friendship. He had often wondered what would have happened if he had kissed her that night when he had gone to her flat. Helen would never have returned into his life, not in that way, and would probably still be alive. Every day that guilt ate away at him and stopped him from ever trying to change his relationship with Barbara.

"So I suppose we should get the awkward bit out of the way," she said without looking at him. "If you want to bring one of your women home that's fine. Just give me a call and I'll make myself scarce. But please don't leave any signs lying around."

Tommy was momentarily speechless but his shock quickly turned to affront. "That won't be necessary. Contrary to your assumptions I do not bring women home and I have excellent sexual hygiene!"

"Sorry, I just wanted you to feel at home. Winston said..."

"DC Nkata said what exactly?" he snapped.

"Winston saw you with a leggy blonde at the pub. You were sitting in our old seats."

Tommy did not miss the bitter tone or how she emphasised 'our old seats'. The news had hurt her. He wanted to reassure her and punch Winston. "That was Bianca, a friend of Judith's. She's a property agent. I asked her to appraise the house in case I wanted to let it out for a while. I am not dating her. In fact I haven't slept with anyone since Julia. That was a mistake and I've come to realise that sex without love is hollow. I'll wait to make love to the woman I adore and who loves me back as passionately."

Barbara knew her face was scarlet. "Sorry, I just thought..." _Why does he want to lease it out?_ She decided not to ask.

Tommy smiled fondly at her. "It's fine," he replied but offered no further explanation.

Barbara headed for the kitchen searching for a distraction. "Coffee?"

"We really should try to sleep but yes, that would nice." Tommy settled onto her sofa and looked around the room. It was not austere but it lacked personality. Clearly Barbara viewed this as temporary.

Barbara handed him a coffee then settled onto the sofa next to him. It was easy being with him again even if she was still making faux pas. She had not realised how much she had missed seeing him every day. She even missed their arguments.

"I like your flat but it feels a little temporary."

"Hillier said twelve months so I came here believing that. I like the job but London is home. I was thinking about taking in a flatmate. Students are always looking for rooms but it all seemed too hard and they are not really my type. Too...intellectual!"

Tommy laughed at her assumption about students. "I don't really enjoy my job now," he confessed, "too much paperwork."

"And I'm not there to do it for you."

"Hmm, there is that. Before Kitts' accident I was thinking of taking a sabbatical and going back to university. That's why I was talking to Bianca."

Barbara looked up. "Really? That'd be funny, me at Cambridge and you at Oxford."

"No, I was thinking of applying to read here, in Cambridge." He saw her eyes light up. "I could be your flatmate," he added quietly.

She looked up and frowned. Did he mean he wanted to be closer to her or was it simply the convenience?

"I thought you were an Oxford man."

 _I'm a Barbara man!_ "They have a Masters course here in Criminal Psychology that appeals. It's a year full-time so I thought it might be perfect. Then we could go back to the Met together. I didn't know you wanted a lodger but if the next few weeks work out we should consider it."

Barbara stared at him trying to decipher if he was serious or not. All signs were that he meant every word. "Imagine what Hillier would say about us living together!"

"Hmmm."

Barbara felt her face go red. "Well not living together as such...but you know what I mean."

"As of ten minutes ago we're living together now, I don't see the difference. It's a mutually beneficial arrangement between two...friends."

"True." Barbara smirked at his innocence. Now the term covering mutually beneficial arrangements was 'friends with benefits' but in this case it would not be those types of benefits. _Unfortunately!_

They sat in comfortable silence sipping their coffee, each lost in their own thoughts. "I suppose with your warning I should offer the same service. You only have to say if you want to have company." His voice was higher and more forced than he had intended.

"Me? I've never brought a man home. I don't think I'll start now." Barbara was not sure whether to be offended by his assumption or gratified that he thought it was a possibility.

Tommy frowned. "Never?"

"No! I'm not the sort of person men find attractive Tommy. No one wants to sleep with unpredictable and angry Havers."

"That's not true," he replied in a low voice, "what about Azhar?"

"Nothing ever happened there."

"But you wanted it to," he said almost accusingly, "you followed him to Balford-le-nez."

"And you followed me instead of staying with Helen and you were on your honeymoon," she said angrily before her tone became more conciliatory. "I wanted someone to share my life. I thought he might think I'd be a good mother for Haddiyyah. When you showed up I knew I was being a fool."

He frowned. "Did I stop anything? I'm sorry."

"No, you saved me from making a mistake. I could never have loved him, not really, not the way I want to love someone. Anyway I'll never know but he was possibly the only man to show any interest."

"I know of at least one other man who wanted to sleep with you but never showed it."

"Yeah, well if the boys at work were talking it's probably only about me being a charity case. For the record, not that it's anyone's business, I've never had sex with anyone but myself. Oh, and the greater irony - after being shot I have to take the pill to ease the load on my remaining ovary but for what purpose?"

Tommy looked up. "I'm sorry, I had no idea the shooting left permanent damage."

"Fertility issues are not something you tend to discuss with your male boss," she said flatly, "anyway I could still have children, it just might take more effort. Now good night, or morning or whatever. I'll wake you in six hours." Barbara had not being able to look at him. She did not want to see his pity or hear any platitudes. She walked to her bedroom and slammed the door.

Tommy followed her up the hall and knocked softly on the door then opened it. She was sitting on her bed and looked distraught. "I'm sorry Barbara, I was only trying to sound like a considerate housemate. I didn't mean to pry into your life." He crossed to the bed and sat next to her.

"Me too," she sniffed, "It's not your fault my love life has been a total disaster."

"Snap!"

"Oh don't give me that. You have your pick of women."

"As I said, that is hollow. All I've ever wanted was someone who truly loved me and I'm yet to find that."

"What about...?"

"We were friends and should have stayed friends. There was no real passion. I was jealous of her with Rhys and mistook my feelings. I knew before I married her there was no fire."

"I'm sorry. Someone out there is right for you."

"And you."

Tommy put his arm around her shoulder and hugged her to him. She leant in slightly enjoying his friendship and care. "Yeah, like I said, no one has ever wanted me."

"I have."

Barbara sat up and shrugged out of his hold. "What? Oh yeah I get it. Now you know I'm a virgin the male conqueror is coming out in you. I thought you of all people were better than that. You think that I'll be desperate enough to welcome you into my bed. Well..."

"Stop it Barbara!" he shouted over her. "I wanted you from that moment in the barn on our first case. You thought I'd been sleeping with that woman and yet you defended me. I knew then we connected on a different level. But I'm glad nothing happened because you're right, it would only have been about sex then. Later we became friends and I respected you too much to ever attempt anything and then as my feelings grew stronger I thought it was the same as Helen. I was wrong again."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I came to Balford because I was jealous of you having chased Azhar! I was jealous of every man you dated, that's why I mocked you. I couldn't admit it, even to myself, but somewhere along the line I had fallen in love with you. I knew finally that when I was on my honeymoon. I married my best friend and not the woman I loved!"

"But you said marriage was wonderful!"

"I was trying to convince myself and I thought if you and Azhar had a chance I shouldn't try to stop it. I was in no position to offer you happiness."

Barbara stood up and ran her hands through her hair. "This is not fair."

Tommy stood and moved behind her as close as he dared. "The last two months have been hell. I have missed you terribly Barbara. This is not about sex. I love you and I confess, I do want to make love to you so much that sometimes it's unbearable but I understand if you don't feel that way and feel betrayed."

"I don't feel betrayed, just confused. I made a decision once when we stood by that fire burning Webberley's letters that it was better to have you in my life as a friend than not in my life at all. I was content with that. I knew the boundaries. Now you suddenly declare you are in love with me. What the hell am I supposed to think?"

"I understand that, I really do, but if you feel anything more than friendship we should at least try."

"Why? So if it doesn't work you can at least say Havers had a good..."

"No! So we can say that we know whether or not we have a future together as lovers or just as friends." Tommy put his hands on her shoulders. She was trembling.

"Remember that night you came to my flat and you hadn't been able to have sex with that woman?"

"Yes," he almost whispered.

"If I had asked you to share my bed that night would you have accepted?"

"Yes, because I loved you and I thought you may have felt the same. I wanted someone who loved me, not someone who loved my money and title."

"If we had...would you have gone back to Helen?"

"No."

"I've often wondered if I have been brave enough to ask you that night if...well if..."

"I bear that guilt everyday Barbara but we make choices based on the best information we have. Helen may be alive or she may not but it was never your fault. I could have been brave enough to kiss you. When we looked at each other I thought I had found everything I was looking for but then when you didn't ask I thought I was repeating my mistake with Helen; that I had fallen for my best friend."

"What's changed?"

"Being apart. It was like half of me was missing. With you I feel content, at peace, happy even. No one else has ever made me feel that way." She was still facing away from him. He inched forward until he was touching her and wrapped his arm around her waist. He gently brushed back her hair and kissed her cheek.

Barbara wriggled around in his arms. "What if..."

Tommy silenced her injections with a soft kiss. At first Barbara was stunned but as if she were detached from her body she started to return the kiss. Her hands nervously hovered above his waist until he used his elbows to push them into place. Her touch electrified him. He kissed her slightly harder and held her closer to him. He knew that her movements against his body were unconscious but they were incredibly effective in escalating his desire.

Barbara was floating. His soft lips were caressing hers. She had never kissed a man more deeply than this but she wanted to try. D _o I open my mouth or wait?_ Barbara was well beyond her experience levels. She thought back to her cheap novels and fan fiction but they never explained how to act. Tommy had opened his mouth slightly and should could feel his tongue on her lips. She had been pursing them tightly so she released the tension. He moaned once, very quietly, then began to explore her lips. She stopped thinking and worrying and closed her eyes and gave in to the moment. Their tongues touched and instead of it being hideous and invasive it was sensual and intimate.

Tommy broke their kiss and began to nuzzle her neck, smothering it in tiny kisses in between his whispered words of love. "Let me stay, please," he begged, "we don't have to do anything more than kiss but I can't bear the thought of you not being in my arms."

Barbara was afraid that if she did not face her fears tonight she may never be able to face them. "Be gentle with me Tommy."

"As if I would be anything else." Tommy walked over to the window and drew the blinds leaving the glare of the morning sun outside. True to his promise Tommy kissed her tenderly. She had no idea how they managed to shed their clothes but as they sat, then lay, on her bed she was aware of their nakedness. She blushed at the thought but his reassurances of her beauty relaxed her. He swept her body with his lips. When he reached her scars she tried to stop him but he was not repulsed and kissed them as much as the rest of her. Barbara ran her fingertips over his skin in abstract circles. It was slightly drier than she had imagined but he purred at her touch. Gradually she became bolder and firmer with her strokes.

Tommy kissed and caressed her until she relaxed. He did not need to have sex today; that would happen when Barbara was ready and not a moment before. Her responses at first had been hesitant and unsure but like her kiss she had grown sure and bold. She traced kisses onto his chest and let her hands explore his body.

Gradually they had edged closer to the point where neither of them wanted to stop. Tommy asked politely to allow him to touch her intimately. Barbara grinned at his him and nodded. It seemed like such a formal request considering that his hands and lips had been everywhere else. Afterwards she wondered if all women where the same or whether he had read her signals. Either way she had never experienced the pure joy she felt at his hands.

Tommy was unrushed and gentle. The responsibility of ensuring her first experience was wonderful had weighed heavily on his mind but as she began to respond instinctively to his touch he simply focussed on Barbara's reactions. Her kisses told him of her urgency but he was not hurried. The fingernails that dug into his back told him how she enjoyed being touched and her low, involuntary moans let him know she was ready. He made love to her as slowly and tenderly as he could until she called his name over and over.

"Oh Tommy! I love you Tommy."

"I love you too Barbara."

As he held her in his arms the only sound was their ragged breathing. Neither spoke for fear it would end the moment. Tommy felt wonderful. For the first time in years he felt safe. It had expected to feel whole and happy but not like this; not so utterly vulnerable and yet protected.

"Is it always like this?" she asked. Tommy had made her feel wanted and needed. He had been passionate but also incredibly gentle. For the first time ever she felt desirable and feminine and above all, loved.

"No, this is special Barbara; very, very special but it can be like this every time for us."

"I'm glad there'll be more."

Tommy lay thinking about how he should propose when he felt her shift a little. She started to snore softly as she nestled into his chest. _Not now it seems._ He too drifted off to sleep reliving the morning.

Tommy woke with a start when he felt a hand exploring his body. "Hello."

"Hiya, sorry I was just..."

"Hmm?" Her hand had reached an area where her intentions were clear.

"My science teacher, Mrs Grover, used to say one answer was never enough. Repeatability and reproducibility were required to prove a hypothesis."

"Well we can't fault the scientific method can we? Come here."

This time Barbara took the lead and Tommy allowed her to make love to him. _Oh yes, hypothesis proven!_

That night in the car they struggled to stay awake. "This is a waste of time," he said in frustration, "we should be home in bed."

"I like that idea but..."

"But?" he said with mild concern.

"I'm a bit tender," she confessed shyly.

"No wonder, you're insatiable!"

"Oh," she said uncertainly.

"And it's wonderful." Tommy leant over and kissed her then held her hand. "The weekend after next will you come to Cornwall with me?"

"Yes, if you want me to."

"I do, there is something there I want to show you."

A week later Tommy told her that Kitts would be returning in three weeks. "I am staying on for a week then returning to London."

And just like that her dream was over. "Oh, I see."

"I'll be gone a week," he continued happily, "I don't want to be away from you but I need to sort out the house and finalise some things. I've already applied for my sabbatical. I will go over to the university this afternoon to confirm my acceptance. I should have started three weeks ago but I can catch up if my tutor agrees. One of the benefits of the Oxbridge system over red brick."

Barbara had no idea what he was saying except that he was coming back. "Good, I think."

"You do want me to come back?"

"Oh yes Tommy, you know that."

He smiled at her in that way of his that made her legs wobble. "I thought so. You still okay for the weekend?"

"Yeah, of course."

The drive was a long one from Cambridge and they arrived late in the afternoon. To her horror the whole family was there. Dorothy greeted her with a bear hug that literally took her breath away. Peter kissed her and shook his brother's hand and Judith led her inside chatting about how happy the family were that they had finally worked out they belonged together.

Tommy knew from her glance that he was in trouble. "I'll just show Barbara our room."

He guided her up the stairs and into his old bedroom. "Before you say anything, I'm sorry. I didn't know Mother would invite everyone down. I told her and Judith about us because I was so happy."

Barbara sighed. "They had to find out sometime. Where's my room?"

"Here, with me."

"Tommy! They'll know we're...you know."

"They're not stupid Barbara, of course they know we're 'you knowing'! It's nothing I'm ashamed of and I hope you feel the same."

"I'm not ashamed, just embarrassed."

Tommy kissed her lovingly. "Don't be please. Come on let's go for a walk on the cliffs before dinner."

"Yeah, I could throw myself off and not have to face them."

"Then I'd have to follow you and I don't fancy that tonight."

They held hands as they followed the trail up to the cliff. The afternoon sun began to fade into a long twilight. The sea glistened and the sound of the waves breaking against the cliff provided a cadence to their steps. At the top Barbara began to laugh. A white bedouin tent sat perched on the crest, it's flaps open to the sea. "Your idea?"

"Of course, although Mother organised it for me."

Inside the tent was a red Persian carpet covered in silk cushions that surrounded a low table set with crisp white linen and gleaming silverware. Two small chests lay beside the table, obviously containing food. A single red rose lay in the table. "Silver service even in a tent?"

"I thought feeding you with my fingers might be too messy," Tommy said as he opened the bottle of champagne that was sitting in the ice bucket and poured two glasses.

He sat and patted a cushion beside him. Barbara sat cross legged beside him and accepted the champagne. Tommy put his arm around her shoulders as they gazed out over the deep blue ocean.

Barbara could not help but smile at him. "You're an incurable romantic!"

"It's very easy to be romantic when the most wonderfully sexy and loving woman is your soulmate." Tommy took the rose from the table. "I was going to say this after dinner but I can't wait."

In the second it took him to kneel before her he had skillfully retrieved the ring from his pocket. He took her hand. "Barbara Havers, you're my friend, my confidante, my lover. You know everything about me; my impetuousness, my jealousies, my moodiness, all my faults in fact. But you also know how much I love you and how you temper me and make me a better person. I can't spend a day without you with me. Will you honour me by marrying me and loving me for the rest of our lives?"

Tommy held up the ring against her finger waiting for her to agree before he slipped it on. "You'll get what you get Tommy. I can't do..." She waved her hands around. "The whole Earl thing."

"You could, but only if you want to. All I ask is that you love me like you do now."

Barbara took a deep breath. She had no ability or desire to say no. "That I can do. Yes Tommy, I'll marry you!"

The ring slipped easily on her finger. She looked down to see a large emerald surrounded by diamonds. "It looks expensive," she said warily, "but Tommy it's beautiful."

"Beautiful like my soon to be wife," he said with pride. He took her champagne and placed it on the table then kissed her passionately.

They toppled back onto the cushions and began to laugh. "Tommy, this tent, the champagne, our engagement. Your family will think we have...you know."

"Uh-hmm," he murmured onto her neck as he began nuzzling, "they're not expecting to see us until breakfast...or lunch. Let's not disappoint them."


End file.
